


Wwrigglin Day

by CheshireAce62, MysticalMondfee



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Sunglasses, pesterchum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-24 08:41:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireAce62/pseuds/CheshireAce62, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticalMondfee/pseuds/MysticalMondfee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Eridan rants about nothing really important to Sollux on his wriggling day. This was actually my birthday card to my best friend and she responded as Sollux. Triggers include mild cursing, links, and Eridan being desperate. Like usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eridan's Desperate Rant

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CA: wwell i knoww its your wwrigglin day

CA: and wwell

CA: wwoww this is more awwkwward than i thought it wwould be

CA: ivve noticed that youvve been spendin a lot of your time wwith that ironic human

CA: and wwell

CA: and youre pathetic

CA: because your flushed for him

CA: evven though thats one of the most ridiculous fins evver to be said

CA: fuckin flushed for a human

CA: and since wwe havvent talked in like forevver because you spend ALL of your time wwith him

CA: I HAVVE TO THANK YOU FOR DROPIN ME LIKE A DEAD FISH

CA: glub i wwas goin to be nice today

CA: fuck it you deservve that

CA: anywway youvve been stuck to him like glue and its pissin me off

CA: so wwell

CA: glub

CA: god this isnt wworkin and totally not wwhere i wwas tryin to go

CA: i should just stop noww

CA: fuck you and fuck this awwkwward convversation im havvin wwithout you sayin anythin back

CA: fuck you

CA: wwhere are you anywway

CA: youre ignorin me arent you

CA: damn you im tryin to givve you a gift and this is howw you treat me in return

CA: youre a rude son of a bitch wwith no fashion sense wwhatsoevver

CA: like your flushed crush wwho wwears those ridiculous shades

CA: seriously he must think hes the movvies or somethin to wwear those shitty shades

CA: you knoww wwhat i bet that he listens to this piece of shit until his ears bleed

CA: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vR-9NQAPIA>

CA: that must be his fuckin anthem

CA: and look at those wworthless pathetic excuses for land dwwellers wwho dont deserve to even breathe air they havve the same fashion sense as you

CA: but if you evver groww anything that hideous on your face like that

CA: i wwill personally removve it along wwith the rest of your face wwith my crosshairs

CA: that being said wwhere wwas i

CA: oh yes informin you about your awwful taste in matesprits

CA: its one thin to owwn a pair of sun shields but to wwear them to the point wwere you wwould think they are implanted on a insufferable wwedge on his face

CA: and wwhen there is no balls of flame to shield them from

CA: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2LTL8KgKv8>

CA: those twwo songs sum up that wworthless creatures existence

CA: and i knoww youre just goin to have to go out and buy a pair of those ridiculous sunglasses too

CA: just like one a kars romcoms

CA: just because that lowwlife wwears them because he thinks hes so cool

CA: as cool as the bottom of the sea

CA: havve you knoww i livve at the fuckin bottom of the sea

CA: he could nevver hold a candle to me

CA: and bein so cool i wwas shoppin wwith fef the other day

CA: and wwell

CA: i saww the sunglasses and

CA: uh

CA: and wwell i bought a pair of really snazzy ones

CA: because im totally awwesome like that

CA: so i decided since you wwouldnt be able to afford somethin as little as sunglasses wwithout goin broke

CA: i uh

CA: wwould like to givve them to you

CA: this doesnt mean anythin obvviously

CA: completely platonic

CA: i am not flushed for you and tryin to get you to pay more attention to me or anythin

CA: wwell maybe if you wwould at least say hi once in a wwhile that wwould be kind a nice

CA: but i uh just thought it wwould be nice to

CA: you knoww

CA: get you somethin

CA: that you might actually use for once

CA: unlike my other gifts to you

CA: if you could evven count those as gifts

CA: like god i wwont evven go there

CA: damn it sol wwhere are you

CA: you really hate me dont you

CA: im am tryin to be so nice here and you wwont say a damn thin

CA: look i at howw hard i tried not to make any fish puns

CA: damn you sol

CA: just die you land dwweller

CA: wwith that sad excuse as a flushed crush

CA: take your fuckin present and just leavve me alone

CA: ill just go find the only person wwho wwill talk to me because its his fuckin job as the leader

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]


	2. Sollux's Response and Eridans Reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a moment to notice my very creative titles.  
> Also a reminder, Sol was my friends response. Totally not me, and was totally not expected for some reason. I was so happy when she responded as Sol, you don't understand.

twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium[CA]

TA: youre pretty 2iilly you know that  
TA: fiir2t off he2 obviiou2ly ju2t a2 flu2hed for me a2 ii am for hiim  
TA: wow that came off a lot awkwarder than ii would have hoped  
TA: anyway2 ii ju2t wanted to 2ay thank2 anyway  
TA: becau2e iim 2uch a great per2on like that  
TA: but theyre pretty cool anyway  
TA: now me and hiim can match  
TA: not that you really care but whatever  
TA: hey wait a 2ec diid you 2ay you PIITIED me there at the begiinniing  
TA: e.d.  
TA: hey iif your tryiing to hiint 2omethiing iim goiing to iignore iit  
TA: okay  
TA: welp good conver2atiion   
TA: 2ee you later

twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium[CA]

~~~

caligulasAquarium[CA] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]

CA: oh my cod sol seriously  
CA: did you evven read the wwhole thing  
CA: i totally had a disclaimer in there  
CA: i really meant it when i said platonically  
CA: should i spell it out for your pathetic duel mind  
CA: I AM NOT FLUSHED FOR YOU  
CA: okay?  
CA: you egoistic bastard  
CA: and  
CA: wwell  
CA: your wwelcome  
CA: glade you like it  
CA: and thanks for responding  
CA: see you sol

caligulasAquarium[CA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons[TA]


End file.
